Костный мозг

I watched Apocalypto by Mel Gibson. And I understand important thing! There are talented director and good movie in the USA. Yes, is right! Who don’t agree with me? Are you? Sometimes I can understand you but now I can’t… You’re thinking that “Tureckii gambit”, “Nochnoy Dozor” are good movie but it mistake. That’s movie for stupid people!

I wanna say about girl who’s annoyed to me. She has work in the office where I’m working. Today that fucking girl allowing things which she can’t allow! I mean her behavior and method of relationship with us. She is vulgar, stupid and ugly girl! Terrible! Unmoral! And fucking fat! Now she’s sitting near to me on her brat and spoiling atmosphere. Yes really she’s spoiling! Everywhere and everyday! Sometimes a wanna kill her. For example, toast her. Chicken!

Often I listen about there aren’t good cinema in the Russia but I think that opinion is false. What I mean? Really very rarely I can watch good movie but I know we must fight with stereotypes. One of lately movie is Island and it became event in art. But I don’t watch it and I decided to go cinema soon.

I wanna say that fucking job became worried to me. Yes, really! I’m working here more can’t. I don’t crazy or facking man for it. Do you know who can work here? Yes? No! You can’t know who! Please say me if facking guy wanna work but people which around him in the office… their needn’t that work… And I have such situation. That’s absurd! Absurd of big companies! People whose commanded as company as BG sometimes like to somebody which don’t know about something. But they must know it! Know about job whose realizing. That’s facking situation don’t allow to me doing everything. Why different my job and possibly of office? Sometimes I think if I will continue here I die and I must go out. I understand my goals difficult and I must realize very many actions for that.

I was wonder yesterday. What I mean? I very want to go to Theatre of dramatic art but my approaches were unsuccessful. I knew there aren’t tickets in the theatre and I decided to call, and happened is marvel! Guy said me about I maybe receive tickets but onward happened strange… I asked him where I can buy tickets. Do you understand that he answered? He said “Not money”. Cool! Really he said about free tickets! That very pleasure! Moscow is capital Russia but here possible such! Soon I will be in Theatre and if you will be there you maybe find and say me “Hello mathafacka”.

Sometimes I think why so much angry people around me. But I can’t understand it! Never can’t… Aggression and hatred are anything that I must see every day. State without low and without free became the place where people life more difficult. When I’m going in metro I see really barbarian which dangerous to me. I understand that’s phrase very abnormal but I can’t find either word. I know about problems in the Russia and I know that I can doing and I trying it. I exactly know if man see anything abnormal he must trying to stop it though maybe think.

I’m worried when somebody blame to me in my judgments’ weakness. Also I don’t understand wherefore somebody criticize to me because he wanna criticize to me? It’s all is foolery! If you wanna say me about my posts you must writing anything sensible. I thing more important in the discussing is respect to opponent and if you haven’t such idiosyncrasy I say you fuck off! OK? Do you understand what I mean? I don’t wanna hurt you. I tried to help you and I can it! I know about you more than you know about yourself. Never not infect my journal and somewhere where I writing because I don’t see meaning in your life! Sorry for my rough reaction but I must say I don’t wish something terrible for you! It’s true! You can thinking about it such you want and if you wanna kill me you do it but I wanna repeated I wish you good life and cool sex. OK?

When I will me doing what I want? I free man! Nobody not right say me what I can do. Nobody! I’m tired! Moscow is terrible town and Russia is fucking country! What I doing here? Why? I needn’t that’s all because I have filling loving and everything also. But here I can’t realized my wish! I think I must stop all everything if it able to continued…

One girl has been written for me poem and you know that very pleasant! That was surprise for me. Thank you so much! Her name’s Olga and I call her Sinaya Gora. Always gratefully when everybody devotes to me poems! Olga writes very talented poems and I wanna and wish her publication the book. Olga has beautiful daughter call Asya. Recently her name was Ksusha yes good name but child found other…
Waiting continuous soon…

А.Я.
Как падают в руки кресты,
На раз телефон умолкает,
Так ловишь глазами ты
В себя, как в пропасть толкая.
А в пропасти лишь цветы:
Фиалки и незабудки.
Желания мне прости.
Там в парке не лебеди, утки.
Там дерево выше звезд,
И толще, чем мир в обхвате.
Ребенок в тебе подрос,
Он ищет Ее по карте.
Она? Да, вот она Я,
Стою под твоим прицелом.
И светит в ночи звезда.
И яблоко стало целым.

I understand I can’t read “Chronic of Narnia” by Lewis. That doesn’t good and worst news. Really it was more difficult such I thought. One of most important thing of study English is interest of mine. I mean about anything which provocation my emotion and reflection of my mind. Everything what we’re doing with feel is always of use to anybody. Somewhere where we was and will be either work must entail reflection of mind because those improve our life. We’re not terminators! Either of us thinking and wanting something and is native human’s feature. If I studying English without mind I never read that text!

Вчера устроили проводы Насти в Италию.

Sorry for my long silent! I didn’t die yet. And I wanna say about myself. I have difficult with my English because I became not enough learning. Also I became worried about it. If that will be continued I cannot do everything. English for me is very important language. I must do all what a can and I know I have wish and possibility. Also I wanna say I know for which purpose I’m studying English. Now I’m filling decrease interest and afraid it. I need new power for study!!!

If you read my basic journal you can realize me as man whose interested politic news. But I don’t think is true. Of course all things around us we must know and if you confront to anything terrible you must help. I trying to say about society and problem and I don’t understand why people are doing actions whose danger to other people. Why? That all paradox! If society wants success it must study to think about future and investment money to long-term project.

One of important Russia’ characteristics is cynicism. I don’t wanna say that accuse to society in it. Always I accusing and will be it bureaucrats. For me their hands in the blood. President of Russia criminal rat and I know that president commanded to kill Anna.

Погибли три ребенка сегодня в Чите. Их убили солдаты. Теперь российская армия выращивает монстров против детей.

Я после кинотеатра:

Марионетки Путина убили ее. Они давно хотели это сделать, но боялись. В день рождения президента наемник застрелил АННУ ПОЛИТКОВСКУЮ. Я НЕ считаю, что какие-то силы подставили президента. Он осознанно приказал уничтожить ее. Теперь журналистов убивают. Теперь могут убить любого. Теперь могут убить тебя.
http://www.rambler.ru/news/events/crime/8864581.html

If you wanna speak in English you must overcome him. I know in very difficult but if you wanna it you don’t have choice! Every day I’m writing, reading, listening, studying grammar and sometimes it worried. I’m going to UK and USA in the future and it demand to me continuous working. Sometimes I ask myself why I studying English? But I haven’t doubt about it and didn’t have.

Sorry I’m writing less such weeks ago. I’m OK! I wanna say about my life but now I gonna write about Georgia.
I’m protesting actions in relation to Georgia. These actions criminal!
Fucka…. I don’t want to write about politic! I wanna say about girl which became going to dance school where I going. She beautiful and sexual, with strong femor and bosom… I fall in love her and I run into madness. Only girls in my dance school and I is only one boy there. Those cool!
I’m with her going to club on R&B party soon!

I was on wedding’ Ura and Masha. That very pleasant couple! Wife is beautiful woman! I wish him love and happy family! Who can thing that Ura became husband women such Masha? Fantastic! How he can charm her? I glad for him…

and